it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Can you repeat that, but with context?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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