there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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