I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
His nipple licking is glorious
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
