Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
