Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
In other news, I just burned my penis
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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