WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
