You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
