Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
