I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
