Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
