There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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