your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
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