I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
