We won't sleep together?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
