U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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