Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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