I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
