Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
