"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
