He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Of course I have a pirate flag
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
