i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
