STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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