im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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