The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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