doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
