My brain says no but my pants say off.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I would fuck him just for his dog
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
