maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
