I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
