wrigley field is MILF paradise
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
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