...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
