Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
