Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
we're making bets on your personal life
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
