East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
