The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
