Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
