My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
