Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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