you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I just googled if crying burns calories
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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