Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
