Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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