More tranny stories later!
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
