She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just saw a hot homeless man
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
