That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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