My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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