Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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