She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
