i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
