is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
