I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Randomize
