do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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