i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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